29 October 2014

Tee Total - Part 2

Afternoon

The reason I have called this Part 2 is due to writing a post about being tee total back in 2011!

I would say I have been tee total now since I was 18? Maybe a bit younger as I have never really drank from what I can remember (and no my memory isn't bad due to alcohol abuse, it is due to HRT before you say anything), so many people always seem so shocked by my choice to not drink, and really do not understand.

I am pretty used to it now, I may have one drink every so often, I think I may of had 2 drinks of Cider maybe 3 this year, I had Half a Pint in February, in Central in Newquay with my friend, maybe 1/3 of a pink as I didn't drink the whole glass! And most of a bottle of berry cider sometime in May? Maybe June.

There is one huge benefit to this being tee total, I always get to drive, I do not have to wait for a taxi, I can just leave when I want and go home! That isn't the only benefit but it is one of them.

As I have been total for so long it seems like normal to me, I am not envious of waking up with a hangover, or being sick etc, I love having a kind of clean life, I do not smoke either, and I have started exercising, but there will be more on that in Part 3 of my Breast Reduction Story, but I do eat chocolate and other nice things like that.

My favorite drink is still water! I love the stuff! It can get a bit boring, and I am a bit of a water snob, I used to LOVE Volvic, but I am starting to like Evian when it has been in a fridge until it is the perfect temperature, also drinking water out of a Glass bottle always tastes better than a plastic bottle.

Nowadays when I go out with people drinking I have a pint of coke! Then continue with the water.

I don't think anyone will ever truly understand not having a need or a want for alcohol other than other people who do not drink.

There are many reasons why I don't drink,

One being it gives me acid, another being I spent a long time around an alcoholic and saw what alcohol can do to people, I just do not see any fun in drinking alcohol and I am happy that way!

28 October 2014

Breast Reduction - The Story - Part 2

...... Read Part 1 here - CLICK HERE 

I was so lucky that my surgery had been rescheduled only just over a week after the date they cancelled. I started to prepare and was getting nervous. 

I forgot to mention I had my pre op a few weeks before, I had an ECG, Blood Tests, BMI, a long list of questions with a nurse. 

With a few days to go to the operation I had a thought in the back of my mind that it could be cancelled at any time, someone in my office had a bit of a cold, they moved downstairs in the hope I wouldn't catch it, but it was too late, by 4 days before my op I started to get a cold!

I went to ASDA and got every single cold thing I could think of, Nose spray, Airwaves Chewing Gum, Vitamins, Orange Juice, Veg soup etc.... I spent over £20 just on things to try and clear the cold! 

It was getting closer and closer and I kept googling, "What if I have a cold before surgery" not knowing what the answer would be, my boss luckily let me have the day off before my operation to try and sleep and get better! 

I phoned the hospital and the person on the phone just said to me, they wont know until the day as it depends if you have a temperature of if it has gone on to your chest, being Asthmatic it going on to my chest was a big worry!!! I was starting to feel a bit of a rattle and was feeling really ill. 

My boyfriend kept checking my temperature for me every few minutes, and he kept telling me it would be ok, and just see what they say in the morning! 

The night before we had to go to my parents house, I was starting to feel so nervous and scared that I burst in to tears, luckily my boyfriend was there to cuddle me and tell me it would all be ok! 

I had to get to the hospital for 7am the next day, so I had an early night! I woke up around 5:30am as it was nearly an hour drive, we got down there so early! We went in to the hospital, it was getting scarier and scarier, but if I am honest I was so excited about the potential of having small boobies I wasn't showing it too much, when I got in I needed the toilet, I was desperate!

We sat in a waiting room until the ward opened up at 7am, then I can't remember if a nurse came to get me or if we all just sort of walked in the direction of the wards, but when we got in to the ward all the nurses were so friendly and made me feel at ease, they took away my nerves completely! 

When I was shown to my bed I was told to sit there and await an assessment, not long after a lovely trainee nurse came over to talk me through everything, I told her of my worry about my cold, she was so nice and took my temperature and blood pressure and all. 

She had to go through the list of things like in pre op, but then not long after my surgeon turned up, I was expecting to not see him until 10am or a bit later then maybe go to surgery around 11am, he came in to see me at about 8:30am maybe a little earlier, and said I was the only surgery he had that day as he wanted to put all his focus on my operation! 

When he came in I felt instantly relaxed and slightly nervous, I didn't know what to say. 

Not long after he came around and bought a pen with him to draw on me! 

I sat there on the bed as he drew on me and explained what he was going to do, I asked if I would be able to have the surgery due to my cold and he said yes, I felt instantly relieved. 

The surgeon left me there with my mum and boyfriend, then a nurse came in a few minutes after I saw the anaesthetist, and said I will be going down in a minute, I noticed in the hall way a man with an Elvis style hair cut, I pointed him out to my mum and boyfriend, and found it funny! 

My dad had gone outside to put more money in the ticket machine for the car, the nurse said they were ready for me to go down, all of a sudden a rush of fear went over me, I was thinking what if I can't give my dad a hug before I go down, I hugged my mum and boyfriend, then my dad came around the corner (I am a bit of a daddy's girl), I gave him a hug then I went down, and guess who took me down!!

THE MAN WITH THE ELVIS HAIR!!!

He was nice, trying to talk to me to distract me from the fact I was about to have an operation, but with me being shy as usual, I wasn't the most talkative, he took me in to the room where they put you to sleep, said goodbye and left me with a nurse. 

I was told to get up on a bed, and she started to stick different things all over me, in the end I was covered in so many monitoring devises I didn't know what to do! 

The anaesthetist came in and said she was going to give me something to relax me, this wasn't the stuff to make me sleepy, she injected it in and said I would start to go all dizzy, and felt a bit sick then before I knew it I had fallen asleep, before I had any anaesthetic.  I think I was really tired as I didn't sleep well!! 

The next thing I remember was kind of coming around and choking and urging and trying to be sick, someone putting a bowl in front of me then being injected with something, I have no idea if I was going to be sick or if they were taking something out my throat was such a weird feeling. 

I do not really remember much of that evening, other then having to use a bed pan every so often. 

I started to wake up about 2am or 3am the next morning, feeling a bit more awake, the nurse said I would probably go home that day. 

The next morning I noticed I had drains in, and I was just feeling uncomfortable, not real pain or anything just because the bed wasn't the most comfortable! I was starting to get really bored and my phone battery kept dying!!! Who would of thought that would be my worry, but there was no tv nothing at all to look at other than a lady asleep opposite me and the ceiling, my highlights were going to the toilet once I got used to walking again! It felt like 4 days! but it was only one day!!!

I was told I could go home!! Best news I had heard!!!

My boyfriend came down to visit me and finished work early and just sat there keeping me company, he had bought me some present the day before but I didn't really look at them as I wasn't really with it! I felt bad! 

He is so sweet! 

My grandparents came to visit and I still wasn't very awake so all I could hear was my grandparents quizzing my boyfriend on if he ate liver, kidneys and all other disgusting things, and he does eat all those weird things! 

Later that day came the time they were to remove the drains! I was told it would happen at 4pm!!!

Watching the clock was absolutely HORRIBLE!!! 

The nurse came in, she wasn't my favorite, she seemed a bit stressed and grumpy! 

She started to pull and told me to breath out as she did, on the left side the pain was so bad! I think it was quite far in, where as on the right side I felt nothing really!!!

Once the drains were out, I had to walk to the car, my first proper walk, it was horrible, I felt so tired, I had no energy! I had hardly eaten as I am so fussy!  

The car journey home was horrible, I get car sick, and this was a time I felt so bad the whole way home, there was a long traffic jam, the journey took a whole 1 hour and 30 minutes when it should of taken 40 minutes, and when you feel sick the whole time, it is not great! 

I got inside and laid down, I had a little nap and my boyfriend came in and sat next to me. 

I was so happy to be home! It was time to build my pillow nest and have a nap!..........

You can read the rest in my next post about my recovery! 

27 October 2014

2014 Gillio Tour - Part 1

Today I am going to start a tour around my beautiful Gillio Medium Compagna Fuchsia Croco Matt, otherwise known as Crocidilla, she is a beautiful pink and looks so different in all sorts of lights, I love how soft and floppy her leather is, she really is a joy to use!

I do not know why I am really considering even using something different as she works for me the way she is and I find her irresistibly beautiful!

I want to start my tour of my Gillio just by showing you the first two tabs, (I have 9 tabs in total [I think]) as you can tell I am planning on doing this post over a few days due to the fact there is more to look at, and I want to show lots of little random aspects of my Crocidilla!

Here she is in all her beauty!!


You can see from the outside that she is quite stuffed, you can see I have some receipts poking out, which isn't the way she usually is, I have not been a good girl and haven't recorded my finances all weekend so the receipts are just there sticking out! Next to Crocidilla you can see my favorite pen, my lovely Coleto, it is mainly there to see the colour.


Now she has been opened up you can see the huge mess that is inside my Gillio at the front! Ignore those receipts, and the Match and More Card, my theory is to just try and buy fuel at Morrisons then use the vouchers to buy more fuel! I will show you all the random cards in that little pocket there now.


A ticket stub from when I went to see the Inbetweeners with my boyfriend and his friends, a ticket from an arcard where my boyfriend and I played and he won me a toy, so I kept a ticket. The best brownie company in the worlds business card, hidden blow, my hairdressers "loyalty" card, I am not sure I want to go there again, not that they did anything wrong, just so expensive!! And finally, my Byron card about takeaway, the first time I visited a Byron, oh my, and they didn't have any near me, now there is one 60 miles away!! YAY!!!


In the zip pocket there is two leather samples for some other Gillio Colours I love, the Dark Green and Dark Brown, I am starting to love the gold as well!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the gold but I would be too worried about it and it isn't pink! A worry doll, I kid you not, but I tell this little doll my worries and I have since I was about 8, when I had a bag full of them, and I forget them! This doll is AMAZING! The little bit at the back is my wrist band from when I was in hospital!


You can see the pretty pink colour here!! As you can see I have one of the Kate Spade Bow Paperclips, and I know everyone has one, but it cost a lot of money!! You would be surprised how much people charge for a paperclip! But I had to buy it as I think they look so cute and it goes so well with my pink cute leather! I know I am a sheep but it is just so cute!


In the FIRST (yes there is more than one) secretarial pocket, I have a random voucher, some sticky notes and a list of places I want to visit, which I really need to write into my Gillio but I have been LAZY as I already have my bucket list in there so I just put a few on there!


Here is my fly leaf (finally you say) I have a perfume sample card, which smells beautiful! It made the leather smell a bit like play dough but that has worn off but the pages smelt so beautiful! Eventually I will buy some Daisy but I am not sure which one!

The love you was created by my boyfriend on my label maker when I was off ill, and there are a few random stickers!


When you turn my dashboard over there is some eBay postage receipts, it is the safest place to keep them! Then they are there when you need them!

The picture is one of my boyfriend and I, which was printed before I went in to hospital as I wanted to have a picture to keep me company at night, but luckily as I was only in one night it was ok, and I was so asleep I didn't notice anything!



On the left I have three business cards, one is my next appointments at my dentist, next is the business card for my nurse and the final one is a shop called hobby mounts that sells amazing go pro accessories, I really need to use my Go Pro more!!

I have had this notes in folder for YEARS and YEARS!!! It has been most of my, whats in my filofax posts etc, therefore I have moved it over here, there is loads of crap and a random dinosaur I drew years ago, but that is about it!


Here is my first divider! I HEAR YOU ALL SAY FINALLY, yet again! Sorry it has been so long but there is a lot to share!

All my dividers are made by Sachiko from Cute Organizing, which is someone I always go on about, my monthly diary is made by her too which you will see in a minute!


Here we go, monthly tab!


Here is the front cover, which I love it is so cute, I think I slightly prefer it to the 2015 cover, but that is mainly as the colours are so much more me!


I have shown you my birthday month on here, but there are many other months! I have blogged about the monthly inserts already so CLICK HERE and you can read it!


On the left I write down all the dates I need to write in the next year, but I have covered it up as it is mainly important doctors appointments, which I have so many of! YAY


So that is all there is for Part 1 of my 2014 Gillio Tour!! Next time expect to see, the full length back pocket, weekly diary, notes and my to do section!

I hope  you enjoyed it and if you have any questions just let me know and I will try and help or answer them!


26 October 2014

Happy Intersex Awareness Day!!!

HAPPY INTERSEX AWARENESS DAY!!!



Hopefully you all know I am Intersex, if not, SURPRISE!!!

I am not ashamed, or embarrassed, and I do no care if you think it is a bad thing or find it wrong.

The way I see it, we are all superheros! We have special powers that others do not have!

We are special, different, not something you come across every day!

If you are Intersex like me, do not be ashamed, do not hide it! It is a wonderful thing! It is what makes you unique and different!!!

!!!!!YAY!!!!!

23 October 2014

Breast Reduction - The Story - Part 1

As most of you that read my blog will know, I have been planning to have a Breast Reduction for a long long time!!! (2 or more years)

Even though I had wanted to have one for a lot longer than that I was too nervous and was scared of all the potential risks, but it got to the stage the benefits out weighed the risks, or more that I was less scared off the risks!!

I am going to write my story of my reduction over a few days, if I can, I am not sure if it is that long of a story but as I have broken it up in my diary I feel I could have a section for each.

Therefore, this will be the before section, and finding the right surgeon, I will mention the surgeon names here, as in theory, this can be a kind of review of the surgeon, not in such that I am reviewing him, but if people want to have an op with him in the future they might see this and think, wow he sounds amazing. (unfortunately, I am a bit too shy to tell him how amazing job he has done, but I will get to that).

First things first, WHY did I want the reduction...

Well that is quite a big question and I could give you such a long answer, but I will give you a breif explanation, as most of you know I have Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome, and due to this syndrome, I have been on HRT. HRT didn't agree with me and made my boobs grow FAR too big for my body!!

My breasts were weighing me down, stopping me from exercising, making me feel rubbish about my body, I could never fit in to any clothes I tried on, I couldn't find bras! It was one horrible vicious circle!!

I had tried many times to do some exercise and loose some weight, but with that weight on your front it is impossible!!!! The pain I had every day in my back, the relief to have that gone!

There was also the fact that I had so much unwanted attention from guys, old, young, none would hold back, I would be walking down the street and hear people comments and want to shout at them, but what would that do? There is nothing worse than when you walk down a street then have two little girls make a horrible comment at you. Some people are just so horrible!

I just knew I had to have the operation!!

My doctor in London Dr Conway referred me to a surgeon in London at the Royal Free Hospital, Dr Tim Davidson, I went to see him, he wasn't there, I met him once, but I didn't feel right, I was given a date for my op, it was cancelled, basically I just didn't feel hopeful.

I decided I would try and seek out a surgeon in Cornwall, and I came across this website: Cornwall Breast Surgeon

I emailed Iain Brown straight away, he told me to contact my doctor and get a referral.

I did it straight away, I kept chasing them to see how it was going, then a few weeks later I got my appointment!

I went to see Iain Brown and his colleague Imran Abbas, they both saw me measured me up and talked me through the procedure, as soon as I met Iain, I knew he would be the surgeon I wanted he was so kind and lovely and made me feel completely at ease!

The appointment was nearly an hour long, he explained the sorts of procedure they would probably do, explained where everything would be moved and told me all the risks and complications!

I was so excited! When I left I was told it would be about 18 weeks until I had my surgery!

I was scheduled for Surgery on 21 July!

I had had a car accident and fractured my hand a few weeks before my surgery and I was so worried it would be put in a cast and stop me from getting the op I had dreamt about, but I was in luck, it healed in time.

I was getting nervous and excited in the build up, the weekend before my op I went to London, I was driving on the Friday around the M25 (on my own, terrified) and I got a call, I have hands free bluetooth built in to my car (at the time I had a new Golf as a courtesy car) all I have to do is pretty a button and I can talk to people, anyway, it was the hospital, moving my date!! They moved it to 31 July, I was in shock and felt angry and sad!

My boyfriend had booked time off and couldn't get as much time off if I moved my date, my work had planned cover, everything seemed to of gone wrong....

I will continue soon - PART TWO - CLICK HERE