As you all know i like to write about things that have happended to me in my life every so often, this started when i was in school as every girl was starting their period!
When i was about 14, I started to get an eating disorder, i was living off 2 packets of crisps, a few bottles of water and one proper main meal a day, I was never hungry always felt sick, it was horrible!
In the last year of school teachers started asking me what was wrong, and trying to get me to drink those milkshakes that help you gain weight, trying to talk to me, just trying to get me to fix the problem, i carried on like this for ages, every so often i would have a few days where i would eat alot but not often, i always felt ill, sick.
Then just after i started college i met Martin, my eating started to pick up, food didnt scare me as much. I ate so much i had not eaten in years, i was just actually eating 3 meals a day and more! Actually getting enough calories for once! I dont know what it is about him but he is the only thing that stops me from eating like i used too, when ever I am away from him i don't eat, there is just something about him that reminds me to eat. I just seem to not be able to my brain just wont let me, I hate it!
After we had been together I went to the doctors as i hadn't started my periods (you all know that story) and they originally thought it was because i was under weight, well under weight, but they still did the test anyway.
Recently, like when i went to Brussels, all the food was made for us, no choice in what we got, it was either Veggie or Meat eater. When i get food put down in front of me i feel a sence of panic, the second course was Rice!! I can't eat rice, it makes me sick, but i pushed it around my plate i ate tiny bits i just struggled so much! It really scares me when something is put down for me to eat and i just really feel like i am going to panic. I hate it!
I have been struggling recently as well, since i had a really bad stomach from having a Chocolate moose with Coffee in it, (well caffeine) I have felt rough, i've not been able to eat, i've been too scared.
I don't really know how to finish this off, other then Thank you for reading.
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