After I was given a diagnosis I had to go and get an MRI scan, I was so scared about it, as I thought it was only for use with brain scans, I was in tears in the changing room, Martin was there to help me, they laid me down on the machine, with martin sitting behind me, and put some earphones on me.
The played the magic numbers through the earphones, I had never really listened to them, and I didn’t realize how depressing their songs are, I was lying there being told to breath in and out and hold it.
After that finished we left, I have a blank spot in my memory, I don’t remember anything until a couple of weeks before my operation.
I remember them giving me the option for surgery or to keep them in, but there was a 10% or something cancer risk if I didn’t have them removed, but then now I found out it’s a similar percentage to breast cancer, so I didn’t really need the operation as much as it seemed at first.
(be aware there will be some graphic pictures below)
So the day before my operation we went up to London, I had to go straight to the hospital, I was absolutely terrified as the next day I had to have an operation I was so scared that I would never be able to cuddle martin again and that I wouldn’t survive, I know that’s a bit over dramatic but I had never had an operation and I was terrified.
The next morning I was told that my operation would be sometime today, so I had to be ready to go down, so she gave me some of those tights socks, and the gowns, she gave me two though as they are open at the back. One to wear as a dressing gown, the other to wear as a gown.
The nurse came and said its time to go down now, so she walked me and Martin down to the waiting room before going in to be anaesthetized (I don’t know if that is the right word) so they called me in, I was nearly in tears I was terrified, they got me to lie down on the bed and Martin was aloud to stay at the end, I was just looking at him trying not to cry thinking about how much he means to me, and how much I love him.
He held on to my toes as they put me to sleep, I just remember seeing his face and just feeling so sad.
I don’t know how long it was or how long I was under, I woke up in the resus room not really with it, I saw Martin and said I love you.
After all I can remember is, you know in horror movies in hospitals when they show you the lights whizzing over you as your lying in a hospital bed, well that’s how I felt.
I woke up a few times whilst I was coming around, I woke up around 4 hours later I was sort of ok, but I kept being sick, I wasn’t even drinking I was just being sick every 10 – 15 minutes, to help with this they gave me some anti sickness drugs, the first lot did nothing, so they gave me more.
Martin had to leave and I hated the fact that as he left all he saw was me being sick.
The next day I woke up as the anti sickness knocked me out a bit, I slept quite well!
They had a sort of school thing in the hospital as I was 18 in a week they still put me on the children’s ward. They had a string cortet (is that right?) come in form the BBC Proms to play for us. Really not my sort of thing but they made me go to watch it!
Then my mum thought it would be fun to go to the school sort of place, to make a box in the shape of a book, well cover it in these pictures of DNA.
I had to eat something though as I had not eaten anything since my operation as I was being sick, so I had to eat crackers and walk around the hospital before they would discharge me as we had to catch the train back that night.
Luckly I did eat enough and was ok to catch the train. We caught a taxi to get to the train station and bought some food before getting on the train, my mum didn’t want me to have any food on the train as she was scared I would be sick, but I knew I wouldn’t.
In the end she let me have some food, it was the most uncomfortable journey of my life!
Martin later told me that he was crying outside whilst waiting for me in the operation, and a nurse was comforting him as he was so upset.
Here are some pictures from this part:
What they were taking out!
After the op
Went to London to buy a heat magazine! HEHE
So more to come soon!
Sorry if I have put you off your lunch!
Have a nice weekend!